Why do biblical parent coaching?

 In Coaching

Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Often some challenging patterns develop in kids and in parent-child relationships and this often require a multifaceted strategy to bring about changes. The most effective change takes place using a heart-based approach.

One of the most important things you can do through your parenting is to reach your child’s heart, but we often don’t know what that means or how to do it. It is not about being mushy or more dialogue, a heart-based approach is much more comprehensive. We also don’t want to get to a point where we are only going through the motions and hope our kids grow up to fit into society or develop according a specific schedule – I believe parenting is much more and it was meant by God to be a training ground and a place of equipping our children for anything they are facing in this life. It involves things like firmness, teaching and inspiring kids to change. It requires practice to form new patterns, and often this means parents must also practice new strategies and techniques.

This kind of parenting also requires strategies on a new level – as Paul writes in Ephesians 6 ‘Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers and … in the air’ and our parenting should be geared for this battle. We are often ill-equipped or lacking the tools provided in God’s Word. We so often start this journey backwards and realize only later when we see undesired behavior in our kids that there might be a problem and then we don’t know where to start. Or maybe as parents we come to a point where we realize the way we have done things is just not working, only when you scream loud enough for the neighborhood to hear does your kids listen and like me you come to the end of yourself and know there has to be a better way.

Fortunately there is. God wants for us to have the abundant life Christ promises even in our parenting but this requires more than head-knowledge and behavior training, it requires heart-to-heart parenting, and training of our kids on a different level, intentional and on purpose.

God’s Word is quite clear on how we should deal with our children. Proverbs 22:6 ‘Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping with his individual gift or bent), and when he is old he will not depart from it.’

As I started the coaching program this became so clear for the first time. Each child is unique, each parent-child relationship is unique and each child should be trained according to his individual gift. We cannot have a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach when it comes to child rearing. We need to have a plan for each child, and with the help of the Holy Spirit we can be training in the exact area where our child needs it most at a specific time.

Once you realize you cannot treat each child the same, and what is good in a form of discipline for one child is not going to work with the next one, you will already be miles ahead of just following a strict approach with all kids.

Once we realize the Word of God is in actual fact a ‘do-book’ and not just a reading book it will become our first go-to manual for raising kids and living our lives. Hebrew 4:12 states it so clearly: For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power (making it active, operative, energizing, and effective); it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and (the immortal) spirit, and of joints and marrow (of the deepest parts of our nature), exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart.’ Then we will be raising Kingdom builders instead of entitled children who become consumers in an already over-entitled society.

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